I can’t resist embarrassing old photos, so here I am with a look at my high school life and how things have changed since then.

These days, I often make presentations at high schools and I feel out of place, because it really wasn’t that long ago that I was the bored student staring at the guest speaker my teacher thought would inspire us.

I graduated in 2005, at age 17. To really understand how things were for me back then, you have to understand how small my town, and school, were. This is my entire graduating class, give or take a few people who missed the group photo:

Personal photos / I’m over there on the far right, trying to get out of the way of all those camera flashes.

My school went all the way from junior kindergarten up to Grade 12, and I started there as a new student as a first-grader. When we graduated from Grade 8, we just moved to a different part of the school. I learned how to divide and I learned how to drive with the same group of people.

THEN:

With only about 30 people per grade,we didn’t really have cliques. I was friendly with everyone in that photo, along with people older and younger than myself, and about a dozen people made up the group I ate lunch with everyday and got up to no good with after school and on weekends. Still, I kept my core group small—my closest friends were MOH Michelle and bridesmaid Fatti.

Me and Michelle, somewhere in or around Quebec City in Grade 10.

Me, Michelle, and Fatti at a New Year’s formal in Grade 12.

Living in a tiny town, our social lives were a lot different than that of urban teenagers. My house was pretty far out in the boonies, versus my friends who at least lived within walking distance of each other, so I spent a lot of time on MSN Messenger during weekday evenings. On weekends we’d all get together at someone’s house. We went to every single school dance there was, because there was nothing better to do.

Halloween dance—I was an 80’s lady, Michelle was something that I cannot for the life of me figure out anymore, and Fatti was a devil.

Popular pastimes, once people started getting drivers’ licenses and permission to use parents’ vehicles, included driving around aimlessly, poor attempts at stealing signs and tipping cows (we never actually found cows to tip, and I’m happy because I’ve since learned they can’t get back up…), and driving half an hour out to the closest town with a Tim Hortons.

NOW:

I still consider my group of close friends to be quite small, like it was in high school. Mr. Dragon is my best friend, of course, but I’d say I’m only really good friends with about ten people. I do a terrible job of maintaining my friendships at a distance (sorry, bridesmaids) but my far-flung friends are the type that I can take up again, after months or years, and feel like nothing has really changed.

My parents moved away from my hometown when I was in university and sold our house a few years back, so I never really get the opportunity to go back “home” anymore, save for the odd drop-in on Michelle or an occasional doctor’s appointment with our family doc. I’m not in touch with practically everyone I was friendly with in high school, though I always feel happy when I hear about a new baby, an engagement or marriage, a house or another good moment in their lives.

I’m still an introvert who prefers a small gathering versus a huge party. I don’t know if that’s because of my high school experience, or if the two just happen to link up, but you’re still likely to find me hanging out at home on a weekday evening.

THEN:

Much like so many other rural teens, I wanted out of my hometown and how. I spent a lot of time daydreaming about what it would be like when I’d finally get to go off to university, to live in a city, to not have to drive an hour to get to a mall.

You’d think that would make me a motivated student, but I was a procrastinator.

Goofing off in Sociology class.

My report cards always read along the lines of “[Miss Dragon] is smart, but she would see improvement if she applied herself.” I was an arty student in a school that seemed to cater more to the math/science crowd, but when I had the chance to take language, arts, and humanities courses, I thrived.

This was my entire English Lit class—Michelle, on the left, managed to fall asleep in a class of three without getting caught. I always read the poems we were discussing as we were discussing them, and S., on the right, was our saving grace because she actually came prepared and was willing to talk long enough for us other two slackers to catch up.

In Grade 12, my big focus turned out to be the yearbook. I became “unofficial editor” and spent a huge amount of time, along with Michelle, turning our old stodgy yearbook into something more creative and fun.

My favourite page, edited to cover up crazy sunglasses/people’s faces—note that if you’re editor, you get to put your own photo front and center.

I wasn’t someone who was into extracurriculars, really, aside from my after-hours yearbook work and getting sent to different racism awareness/social issues/student planning conferences as a school representative (I don’t know why they picked me). I helped organize the Violence Against Women awareness assembly each year, and I was in Spanish Club for one year, too.

I took up badminton for a semester but was horrible at it, and my concert band experience went down a similar path. I was an alternate for the trivia team but didn’t get to go on any of the trips. I got my required 40 hours of volunteer service out of the way quickly by volunteering at a summer day camp with Michelle. Oh, and I jumped around with a big sign on the side of the road to direct people to our graduation fundraiser car wash.

NOW:

If anyone had told me, as a high school student, that I would find myself settling down in a tiny town that is a five hour drive to the closest mall, I wouldn’t have believed them (and I would have been very upset about the mall thing).

My geographical location is pretty much the opposite of where I thought I’d be—in my high school dreams, I was a world traveller, a city-dweller, that sort of thing. But here I am, living the small town dream again. The difference is, as an adult, I can appreciate the quiet, the clean air, the huge sense of community. I also have my own vehicle, which helps. :P

As for finding a career that fit into my high school interests and strengths, I think I did well. Now, I get to write and create for a living, which is sort of the real-world equivalent of stocking my courses full of any creative outlets I could find and sticking my nose into the yearbook for hours on end.

In terms of grown-up “extracurriculars”, I’m still pretty lazy. I don’t belong to any clubs or organizations, though we do a bit of volunteer work for the local animal welfare group. I would actually like to get involved with some of the arts groups and committees around here, but I have to keep an unbiased distance because of my job.

THEN:

I was an awkward teenager. Actually, I like to say that my awkward stage started somewhere around age 12 and has yet to finish.

Grade 9 - My sister tells me I looked like Geddy Lee at this stage. I only bought that sweater because Michelle had a black-and-white striped sweater.

I never really felt comfortable in my own skin. I was shy, easily embarrassed, constantly worried about doing or saying the wrong thing—looking back, I think I really struggled with social anxiety and low self-esteem.

Because of this, I didn’t really get into the dating scene—that, and with my small social circle it really seemed to me like everyone was just dating each other in varying combinations, and that weirded me out a bit.

I had my first boyfriend in Grade 10, solely because my friends were starting to have boyfriends and I thought I should, too. It didn’t last long, because the whole thing just felt uncomfortable to me, because I only wanted a boyfriend because Michelle had one (a common theme for teenage me—it’s also why I wanted braces and blonde hair, and had a crush on pretty much every boy she crushed on).

The only dance for which I ever had a date.

I found another boyfriend and fell madly in love when I was 16, but long-distance relationships don’t often work well for teenagers, so I was heartbroken by 17. After that, I just dated casually through my post-secondary years. Honestly, I didn’t really get into any major relationships that would be comparable to what I have with Mr. Dragon.

NOW:

I fully expected to remain single when I moved up here. Mr. Dragon took me by surprise and hung on through my social anxiety/low-self esteem (because it’s still around, just in a smaller capacity). I had always counted on finding some kind of a partner, because I knew I wanted kids, but I didn’t know when I’d find him, and I didn’t think I’d be getting married.

As an adult, I’m a lot more comfortable with myself than I was as a teenager. I’m capable of being on my own, and being okay on my own. Do I wish I had experienced more serious relationships versus casual dating? No. I’m happy where I’m at, and I’m happy that my first forays into things like shared bills, couples’ vacations, and planning houses and babies were with Mr. Dragon.

Overall, I know I’m in a better place than I was in high school. I often have to remind myself that at age 24, I’m still pretty young and I’m still allowed to be weird and awkward and make mistakes, so long as I’m still learning. I know I have a lot of growing up left to do, but I can honestly say that I like me, which was more than I could say in high school.

What was your high school experience like?